


When it Takes

by Peril_in_Peace



Series: Squeeze My Hand [2]
Category: Guardians of the Galaxy (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Avengers: Infinity War, Death, F/M, Immortality, Post-Movie: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2, Vol. 2 canon-divergence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-28
Updated: 2018-05-28
Packaged: 2019-05-14 16:54:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14773502
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peril_in_Peace/pseuds/Peril_in_Peace
Summary: The last time Peter doesn't die... and when he finally does.





	When it Takes

This time, he was sure it would take. 

A lucky blow, despite Ego’s weakness, maybe? Peter always was a good fighter, but the brawl had become exhausted and messy. A sloppy mistake wouldn’t be a stretch. Or a falling rock? (That  _ any _ of them hadn’t been flattened by a boulder the size of a car was probably a miracle.)

It could also just have been the explosion itself, really… that would do it. It  _ was _ a Rocket design, despite being crafted on the fly. Who knew how big the fireball would be?

But Peter was pretty sure… this time, there’d be no waking up from whatever it was. If Ego was to be believed.

He was okay with that.

And when it came… Peter didn’t know, in the end, what did it. He didn’t even have a chance to see it coming. Or be afraid. Or regret it.

Except.

_ “I’m so sorry, Peter.” _

Her voice wavered quietly in his memory, though it sounded like she was right next to him.

_ That _ just wasn’t fair.

There were things worth dying for. This was one of those things.  _ She  _ was one of those things. They all were. 

But man… wouldn’t seeing what they could have been together… after finally…  _ finally _ …

That would have been something worth living for.

_ “He’s so cold…”  _ Another whisper. Peter could have sworn he felt something, pressing against his palm. But he was pretty sure he didn’t have hands anymore.  

_ “Space is cold.”  _ The rough voice was sadder and softer, slower than it should have been.

When Peter lost track of how long it was quiet, he let himself drift in the dark. If this was it, it wasn’t so bad. If he could hear them sometimes… well, that wasn’t so bad either.

He wondered if his mother ever heard him like this. If this was just  _ how it was _ . For everybody.

_ “Might take awhile, darlin’...”  _ The rough, old voice paused. Softened.  _ “Might not even--” _

_ “Please… don’t.” _

It sounded like she was crying. And Peter suddenly hated Yondu for letting that happen. Because of course it was his fault… he was right there, so either he’d caused it or failed to stop it, so…

Peter wished he could beg Gamora to  _ please _ stop crying.

_ “You got his tape player?”  _ Yondu again, his voice stronger, in that tone for  _ Captain  _ moments, where he doesn’t feel like being in charge--but he has to be.

If Peter had his heart, it would have hurt. He thought he could feel his chest tighten.

If she answered, he didn’t hear it. Maybe the conversation continued in shrugs and nods. Maybe the spans of silence were just… how it was.

The next sound Peter heard was  _ Hooked on a Feeling _ . (It was  _ his _ .) And if he had eyes, he would have cried. Because he knew that Gamora chose it for him. And for just a second, he felt like he was really with her again. Like she was speaking to him, even though he was gone.

And he heard her.

He wanted to thank her. To  _ tell _ her...

He tried. He pretended he still had a voice.

And Peter said, “I love you.”

He heard the puff of air; the vague, breathy hum.

...And he supposed, through the ache of what might be mistaken for a sinking heart, that really… it was probably still pretty good for a dead guy.

Peter  _ felt _ a warm pressure on both sides of his face. His mind suddenly snapped taut, like a bobbing boat at the end of a tether. The music disappeared. He  _ felt _ something pull away from one of his ears.

“Open your eyes, Peter.”

_ Gamora _ . He  _ wanted _ to see her. She was  _ talking to him _ and he wanted to see her.

He  _ felt _ a warm, scarred and callused hand grip his tightly. Squeezing hard until he  _ knew _ he  _ really _ felt it.

“You’re still here, boy. One more time.”

Peter remembered the wall and Yondu’s whistle, then. Hearing it, and then--not. He gasped,  _ pulling _ open his eyes, as if prying open a couple of stuck blast doors… remembering that he  _ had _ eyes. They went wide, searching out Gamora’s blurry face, his free hand reaching out before a blue one caught it.

She came into focus, cheeks tear-streaked and eyes swollen. She smiled, coughing out a wet, choked laugh. “It’s okay… you’re okay…” she said softly, almost more to herself than to him. 

Both of her hands were on his face, flat against his cheeks. Her fingertips pressed into his temples; her thumbs grazed his cheekbones, almost roughly ready to hold his eyes open by the lower lids.

“Wha--” he tried to say, but it just came out as a breathy grunt again. Gamora smiled softly and shook her head, opening her mouth to speak, before Yondu interrupted.

“Leave it a bit, kid. Had to drag your ass through hard vacuum. Fortunately, you were dead at the time, so you weren’t doing somethin’ stupid like tryin’a breathe. Don’t mean ya ain’t damaged any, though.”

Yondu’s hands never left his. Gamora’s fingers moved, brushing his hair from his forehead and resting there. Eventually, she lowered her head, her face disappearing behind a mess of black and pink hair. And Peter  _ felt _ a weight on his chest, that wasn’t fear or dread or regret.

She dropped her forehead to Peter’s sternum, then rolled her head, twisting a little, until her ear was flat against his chest. Yondu’s hands slipped away, but almost immediately, Gamora’s fingers wove between his.

Peter heard boots; Yondu’s distinctive footsteps on the deck--a sound he’d actively avoided almost his whole life--leaving through a hatch behind Gamora.

For a long while, he just marvelled at the feel of himself breathing, of Gamora breathing.

“Ego had a weak spot… you must have one too. Someday… you won’t come back. This…” Gamora sighed softly. “This won’t happen again. Do you understand?”

She squeezed his hand.

He squeezed back.

* * *

_ “Did we just lose?” _

_ We lost. We lost we lost we lost. He was right there. He was  _ right there _ … and then  _ nothing _. Nothing. _

Peter  _ forced _ himself to breathe. If he didn’t, he was sure he would stop. And he wasn’t sure he would mind.

There was nothing anyway. Nothing, nothing, nothing. And coming from someone who had  _ been dead _ …

He forced himself to take another breath.

He forced himself to take another step. Toward--

_ Nothing, nothing, nothing _ .

_ "Why did you do that?” _ Peter heard a voice, but didn’t care what it was saying. If he had a heart… maybe he would. If he had a heart… maybe he’d feel anything but  _ nothing _ ...

He forced himself to take another step.

_ “We’re in the endgame now.” _

He  _felt_ a hand graze his cheek and Peter choked and remembered to breathe and let Mantis lift his chin and look him over and pull his arm over her shoulders.

He didn’t want her to die, too.

He wondered if this was as close to staying dead as he could get.

“Something is happening,” Mantis said.

Peter closed his eyes as she blew away.

“Quill?”

He didn’t want Drax to die.

But Drax watched himself die.

“Steady, Quill.”

He didn’t want Groot and Rocket to die.

He hoped they didn’t. They would have each other.   

Peter was already gone.

* * *

 

This time, he was sure it would take.

Her fingers wove between his, warm and familiar. He smiled, eyes still closed against something… an end he never thought he’d see.

She squeezed his hand.

He squeezed back.

 

**Author's Note:**

> Honestly, I think a sequel can sometimes ruin an original piece... that might be the case here... but they're so different and just based on the same basic premise, I thought it might be okay. :) "The Pieces" is one of my favorite things I've ever written... so I hope this didn't kill it. But I had this half done for months, and decided to just sit down and finish it. If it works, great... if not... I hope there were some good cries had, at least. :) Thanks!


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